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Lagoon

by Michelle O Faith

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1.
Sometimes, I think I was borne of the ocean. Like the sea itself - all its ripples, and riptides, and waves, and whirlpools - were in me. How can something so vast, so endless, possibly be contained? I would press my fingertips to the shoreline, and wonder where the boundaries lay. The point of demarcation. The line separating blue ocean from brown soil... Where could it be found? I loved the ocean. But it made me sad. I guess it reminded me of myself. For as long as I could remember, I'd been moving. Ever changing. Ever restless. Never still. How do you keep something so wild in a cage? How do you keep something so wild? "A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages" - my Grandmother would say. And my heart was a jungle. Oh, to spend one's life defined by the search for a freedom that doesn't exist. It makes you reckless, you know? I met a man who told me I was like chaos. Something about me felt borderless.. infinite, almost. And it scared him. Because, for the life of him, he couldn't fathom where I began and ended. I think he feared he'd fall asleep, one night, holding me.. Then wake to find I'd seeped through his fingers. "Like Chaos" he said. As though I were a force of nature. Crashing into things, people. Washing up and over. Swallowing whole. Not unlike the ocean that raged. At night, I'd dream of being a Mermaid. Half human, half creature. Half woman, half goddess. Half earthly, half other-worldly. Half making a home, half passing through. In my mind's eye, I saw myself swimming. Out into the ocean. Out to nowhere in particular. Just out. Away. Somewhere I could become one with something bigger - more restless, more reckless, more infinite - than myself. In order to find the peace within myself. To be alive yet settled. I would close my eyes. Feel the beat of my heart - rising, falling in time with the tide. Let the waves crash into me. Wash up, wash over. Swallowing me whole. Dragging me under. Into my chaos, into my depths. A prisoner once more... Free at last.
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about

1) Black Ariel, A Monologue
2) Speaking in Tongues
3) Bloomsbury Hotel
4) Lemonade, Pt. II (feat. Graft)
5) Bloomsbury Hotel (Live at The Old Church)

Art shot by Chris Turner aka Favourite Colour Black

credits

released June 26, 2020

Mastered by Streaky

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all rights reserved

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about

Michelle O Faith London, UK

Michelle O Faith AKA Black Ariel.

Singer, songwriter, producer from south London/the ocean. I make genre-bending Pop with an alternative edge. You decide who I remind you of? Chances are nobody.

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